


They would scrawl his name on a city wall

by maanorchidee



Series: Anyway series [4]
Category: Glee
Genre: Canon, Canonical Character Death, M/M, Original Character Death(s), Past Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-07
Updated: 2016-12-22
Packaged: 2018-09-07 05:03:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 22
Words: 4,029
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8784199
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maanorchidee/pseuds/maanorchidee
Summary: AU in which Logan's tombstone magically moves with Blaine to New York during season 5. (part of the Anyway series)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Guess who's back?
> 
> Me!
> 
> Guess who is also back?
> 
> My Blaine.
> 
> Is that all? No, plot twist: Logan is with him in New York. So the thought of Blaine talking to Lolo during season 5b, and of course it can't happen. The tombstone is in Lima. Hence the AU. I've opened a fic blog (forabeatofadrum) and I've been busy writing Klaine advent and Carry On countdown stuff, but LOGAN!
> 
> Everything in You'd better live like gods is still canon. This is the AU. The only things that are a bit, uhm, meh are in the 'pre-season 6' chapters.
> 
> Anyway (pun intended), here is the next part of the Anyway series. Of course, the title is from the song Anyway.

_There's this building you pass_  
_On the subway to Queens._  
_It's on the L or the R or the one that's green._  
_It's covered in tags,_  
_Bright hieroglyphics._  
_These fifteen-year-olds –_  
_They're so fucking prolific._

\- Anyway, Kerringan-Lowdermilk

* * *

**2014**

"New York City.

Center of the universe.

I'm buzzing," Blaine says, "I still can't believe I'm here. I'm in New York. I'm following classes at NYADA. I'm living with Kurt in Bushwick.

Okay, and with Rachel who has moved back in after Santana left, and Sam who is crashing on our couch. We've only been in the city for three weeks, so he still has time to find a place for himself. It's not like he's gonna live with us for months.

Right?

Artie needs all the space his special dorm room can give him, so moving Sam in with Artie isn't going to work either. Kurt mentioned Elliott's place, but I don't feel like talking about Elliott. Kurt apparently does. All the time.

I miss home a little bit. I didn't expect that since I've been dreaming about leaving the state for years, but Rachel told me that's normal. She loves New York, but misses the people back home and the familiarity of Lima.

I guess I just have to adapt."


	2. Chapter 2

**2014, still**

"I love New York. Kurt and Rachel have been saving and the three of us went to Broadway. I saw a Broadway show, Lolo!

I couldn't watch one the previous two times I was in New York. The first one has a lot of bad memories for me. I was in New York for only a couple of hours. After we woke up the day afterwards, I ran. Finn did too. I miss Finn.

The second time we were too busy with my NYADA audition and with campus visits.

But now I'm living in New York. I can go to a show in my free time. This is going to be my future. In a couple of years I'll be on stage, hopefully with Kurt. Rachel is already busy with her debut. Everything is going so fast.

It's quite nerve-wracking, but I'm coping. Knowing that Kurt, Rachel and Santana have done this already makes everything easy. They're doing fine, so I will be fine too."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case you're wondering, I wrote this entire story a month ago. Given that it only covers 7 episodes and the stuff between 5x13 and 5x14, and a litte bit of post-5x20, it's only 22 chapters long.
> 
> And since the rest of the story is canon (in You'd better live like gods), it has an open ending. It was kind of sad writing this, knowing he'll get hurt, but that is glee


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh yeah, since I still love Little Numbers (best. fic. ever.), Wes lives in New York. Maybe you've forgotten.

**2014, still**

"Elliott!" Blaine roars. Good thing he's alone.

"Kurt can't stop talking about him. Everything about Elliott is amazing. He is so musically talented, he has amazing hair, he has the best fashion style… Everything about that guy is perfect. Rachel agreeing isn't really helping me.

I know Kurt loves me, but I don't need this in my life.

I think the honeymoon period has officially passed. Don't get me wrong, I still love New York and I still love living here, but the excitement has died away. This is everyday life now. I no longer squeal when I walk around Broadway. I no longer need to fight the urge to take pictures of Time's Square. I no longer need an hour a day to admire the Statue of Liberty.

This isn't necessarily a bad thing, I think. These things are just signs of the fact that life has changed. I am an actual New Yorker now. Hell, I'm wearing Kurt's NYADA varsity tee.

Good thing the thrill of living with Kurt isn't going away. I hope it never goes away. From all the beautiful things in New York, he's the most beautiful.

I am so lucky to have him.

I need him.

Wes keeps telling me that I need to get a life of my own, but I do have a life of my own. Kurt's just a big part of that life. That aside, I'm very happy that I see Wes on a weekly basis again. David has already visited us.

Life's okay. I can do this."


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so, canon begins.

**2014, still**

"I just came down here from my new apartment.

I know what you're thinking, but let me explain. A lot has happened in this week. Rachel's advancing with her rehearsals. Artie got mugged, but they caught the man who did it. Sam moved out of the loft and I did too.

I was afraid. I was stupid. I'm really working on making this new life successful, but Elliott wasn't really helping. Again, I was stupid.

I've been complaining about him for weeks now. I got jealous.

But like I said, I was afraid. I hate that I need to keep reminding myself that Kurt loves me. I guess the shitty part of me keeps wondering _why_ he loves me.

So I started giving him a lot of attention, and I didn't realise I was drowning him in it. I kept making him pancakes every morning. I kept wanting to dance with him. And then Madam Tibideaux gave me permission to follow extra classes. I was overjoyed, cause Kurt also followed those classes.

Then I started redecorating. The couch was a big miss, so let's not talk about that, but my office space was going to be amazing. I only didn't discuss it with Kurt beforehand. That wasn't necessarily a bad thing, but it was the last straw. Kurt snapped.

And I was frustrated too, because he once again mentioned Elliott. After a day of ignoring each other and me crashing on Wes's couch, I decided to do something about it and I went to Elliott to talk with him.

I should've known." He hangs his head. "It was so embarrassing. I cannot believe I did that. I yelled at Elliott like a maniac. You have no idea how happy I am that he's such a chill dude, cause otherwise I would've disappeared forever.

Elliott is great. We even wrote a song together. Everyone can bond over music.

After that, I took a water taxi to the Statue of Liberty. I needed some time to think. Remember how I told you weeks ago that I don't need an hour to admire the statue anymore. I needed almost six hours that day. But like I said, I needed time to think. I looked back on my actions and realised they were kind of questionable.

I want to punch myself for saying this, but Wes was right.

Why is he always right? I need a life of my own.

After that I decided that I needed to go home. Kurt and I talked and I think we're finally growing up. We were so drunk on love, so without thinking I just moved in with him and Rachel. I told him that we needed to weigh the pros and cons. We decided that I need to discover the city like he did. Don't get me wrong- I discovered the city, but I went to all the places Kurt recommended.

Maybe I will enter my second honeymoon period.

After some mind-blowing sex we started planning. I obviously had a lot of stuff littered around the loft and gathering all of that took a lot of time. The day afterwards we told the others our plan. To my surprise, Sam told us he had moved out of his apartment because he didn't agree with the, uh, policies of that place. To my bigger surprise, Mercedes arrived out of the blue.

So now, Sam, Mercedes and I are living together in a two-storey apartment paid by Mercedes's studio. Life is good."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I loved Klaine so much in this episode.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uhm heads up, this entire update will be about Bash, so mentions of homophobic hatecrimes.

**2014, still**

"Life is getting heavy thanks to homophobia reminding all of us that there are still nutheads out there who want to kill us for loving differently.

There's a candlelight vigil later today and we're all going, but it is hard. This is New York, for fuck's sake," Blaine wants to scream.

"New York City. Our safe haven. And now Kurt's neighbour is in a coma because some people decided it's fun to beat him up for being gay. That shit can really change someone's life. We're the examples of that.

This- This can happen to all of us.

This has happened to me already.

I'm so happy for that NYADA mid-winter critique, cause I need a distraction. I've been sleeping at the loft. I still live with Sam and Mercedes in our apartment, but I don't- Kurt said it's okay if I stay with him. We both know that this messes with our heads.

Guess it's a good thing Rachel wants to go big or go home with our number."


	6. Chapter 6

**2014, still**

"Madam Tibideaux was pissed! Woah, I didn't expect that. We knew we were going against the assignment but we thought it'd be fun. Fun is not the right word. She got the impression that we're full of ourselves.

Well.

She almost flunked us both, but bless her, she gave us another chance. More stuff to distract me from the tension in the loft.

To be honest, I think Rachel's going a bit far by wanting to drop out. She's done so much already. She can't just leave like that! Kurt's going out for a drink with her later today. Maybe he will be able to make Rachel see that this is ridiculous. I must say that-" then, his phone buzzes. A text from Sam.

"Uhm, okay, Sam just texted me," he says, "I need to go to the loft. He wants to talk with me about Mercedes. Sounds serious.

See you next week then."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, Pokemon Sun and Moon got released two weeks ago! The actual Lillie is a sweetheart. The Lillie from this verse won't be in this fic, because she's still in Ohio.


	7. Chapter 7

**2014, still**

"I can't even talk right no-"


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *pats Blaine on the head* Oh boy. *gets hand stuck in hairgel* OH boy.

**2014, still**

"Kurt is with his dad and they're still talking about his amazing performance at the critique a couple of days ago. Sorry for last visit. Wes eventually found me sobbing here and dragged me home. He basically fed me my meds and put me in bed. We all need someone like Wes in our lives.

I do wonder how he got into the loft though. He doesn't have a key.

I'm fine.

No, wait. That's an overstatement. I'm far from fine. I'm coping with life, but I'm not even remotely fine. I told you that this could happen to all of us. It happened to you, it happened to me, it happened to Russ and now it happened to Kurt.

The past two weeks have been hard. After Sam texted me, I tried to talk to him about Mercedes. Apparently they like each other, but they don't know how to express it. They're together now, but it was tough. I was about to read him some Star Wars fanfiction when the phone rang.

Everything after that was just a blur.

I only remember Sam calling Mercedes and Sam trying to get me in a taxi without me hitting my head. I don't know how he managed to get me to the hospital because I was in full panic mode. I tried calling Burt, but Sam and Wes had to take over after I started having a panic attack. Rachel and Artie were trying to get more information. Mercedes just sat there frozen in her seat.

Once again, thank whatever higher power for the critique. A part of me didn't want to think about something else _cause my fiancé got beaten_ , but I don't know if I would still be here in this somewhat okay state without the distraction. I spent most of my time next to Kurt's bed in the hospital. He's been discharged by now, so I'm back with him at the loft for now. I barely entered the loft while he was in the hospital. I stayed at Wes's place instead.

The only reason I spent time in the loft was because I needed Kurt because of all the stuff that's been going on. I needed him next to me to cope. But he wasn't there, so I moved to Wes, since I didn't have time for the additional Sam and Mercedes drama.

I- I don't want to talk about the details of the attack. I am still busy with banishing all of that from my mind, but this happened.

I can't believe we're _both_ victims of homophobic hate crimes now. I can't wrap my head around the fact that this happened _to him_ out of all people _in New York_ out of all places. I can believe this happened to me, Lolo, because we were stupid enough to try that in Ohio, but this is _Kurt_ in _New York City_. Oh holy shit.

I know I shouldn't blame myself for what happened to us, but sometimes I can't help but wonder what my life would be without that ugly part in my past. You would still be alive.

Holy shit.

 _This happened, Logan_.

This actually happened. I- I don't want to burst out in tears again. I don't want Wes to find me again. I- I need to stay strong.

But fuck."


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh wait, we're already at Tested.

**2014, still**

"My life just keeps getting fucking better."


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sigh.
> 
> I actually had some trouble with writing this, because I just want Blaine to be happy.
> 
> But... angst. And glee making it so easy.

**2014, still**

"I hate myself."

Blaine tries not to scream.

"I hate myself for hating that Kurt is doing amazing. I hate myself because apparently I wasn't good enough to keep my family together. I hate myself because I don't fit into my pants anymore. I hate myself because all the progress I've made these past years have all been for nothing, because I don't feel safe anymore in this city. I hate that it made me realise I feel like I'm losing. I've felt like that ever since I got to New York.

I will never enter my second honeymoon period.

I should be happy. Kurt has been through a lot and he needed this confidence boost. And people praising him are right. What he did was exceptional. The guy Kurt saved thanked him in person _and for a reason_. And I know mom was unhappy with dad. I know he didn't always treat her right.

Really, I should be happy for Kurt. My amazing, loving, courageous fiancé.

But why?

Why me?

Why does he love me?

I feel like that balance between us has completely changed. I hate myself for wanting to be better than Kurt, because we should be equal.

But how can we be equal when Kurt is _that_ and I am, well, I am _this_?

One day he's gonna wake up and realise that he's too good for me. One day he's gonna wake up and he's going to realise that he doesn't love me anymore.

Good thing I don't have to stay at the loft anymore.

I hate myself."


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh... update on real life Daisy: around me, she is at ease and she has made another cat friend. I called her Astoria. They keep walking on our roof.

 

**2014, still**

"Do you know what the most important thing in a relationship is? Communication.

Kurt and I learned that the hard way. We didn't have a fallout, but we talked. Ever since he found out about the website, thing have been tense. I think we're on the road of recovery now. I told him everything I told you. I told him I don't like the way I feel about myself anymore.

This is not a competition.

I need to remember that.

This is not a competition.

I've always known he is right, but I guess my insecurities just made me forget that. My instrument is not out of tune. But Kurt's also right about the fact that he doesn't need me to protect him. He has shown that he's capable of protecting himself. He also told me that I need to tell him the things that are bothering me. I tried to tell him twice, but sure.

We went out with Sam and Artie afterwards to talk about the awful new diet plan. Artie is working on his first short movie called _Bags in the Wind_. He wants me to star in it, but I need some time for myself, you know? He was a bit disappointed, since he's also been through a lot this week, but he understood. His school is planning on submitting the movie to Fort Lauderdale International Short Film Festival, so Artie is excited.

Artie and I are going to have an amazing next week. I promise you that."


	12. Chapter 12

**2014, still**

"I just had the best night ever! I haven't felt this good in a while. Artie and I definitely succeeded. His short movie actually got into the Fort Lauderdale International Short Film Festival and I am happy. I haven't been this happy in a while. I want to party every night.

Although Wes wouldn't allow that.

Rachel's opening night was amazing! He's the best Fanny ever- okay, Mrs. Barbra Streisand herself is her big competition. She was a bit tense, but that is understandable. We spent the entire week trying to make her feel at ease, as we always do, and Tina and Santana came over to help us.

After opening night, I recommended the gay bar Kurt and I always go to, because I know the people there have been following Broadwayworld non-stop for Funny Girl updates. Really, best night ever!

Sure, Sue and that creeper from Mario's tried to rain on her parade, but Rachel basically told them to fuck off. I don't know the entire story. I was in the bathroom.

Oh, and Mr. Schue's son was born! Daniel Finn Schuester. Sure, it's a bit weird that he named his kid after one of his students, but it's Finn.

I needed this, Lolo. I love it!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh wow, a happy Blaine!


	13. Chapter 13

**2014, still**

"This suit is stifling," Blaine laughs as he tries to take off his bowtie, "But I look amazing in it. I still cannot believe this happened to me- oh wait, I haven't told you yet.

I met June Holloway.

Yes, _the_ June Holloway.

Kurt was invited by NYADA to sing for her and he asked me to join. But to our surprise, June picked me over him. I just came back from the SoHo Centre for Outsider Art. June and I put on a show for a lot of rich people. June wants to launch my career and make me famous. I can't believe it!

I hope I can still continue my education at NYADA. I respect Rachel's choice to drop out, but I don't want it.

I must say that I feel bad for Kurt. He keeps telling me that he doesn't mind, but I can't handle him being so sad. We both know Kurt wanted this.

If June makes me famous, she has to make him famous too. And otherwise I will socialise him. I want him to be with me."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whatever the hell actually happened to June?


	14. Chapter 14

**2014, still**

"I need to convince June to give Kurt a part in my show, especially now that I lied to him.

But she told me I needed to break off the engagement. To quote Mercedes: Hell to the no!

Nothing will break our engagement. I think June thinks that love is naïve and can ruin your career, but why can't I have love and a career?

I know that lying to Kurt was bad, but I panicked okay? I really, really don't like seeing him so sad. And I just blurted it out. What was I supposed to say? 'Lol jk? You don't play a part in my show' after his face lit up like that.

He asked me why I was barely with him. Between school and June, there's not much time for Kurt. Good thing I didn't do Artie's movie. He is still away, but now he has to reshoot some things or I don't know.

I'm a busy man, Lolo.

But back to Kurt… I am screwed. I really need to convince June to give Kurt a part. I need to do it now!"


	15. Chapter 15

**2014, still**

"Are you sometimes so effing proud of your fiancé. Well I certainly am! I cannot believe June doesn't see the talent Kurt has. He performed as Peter Pan in a nursing home. I know that might sound weird, but as Sam would say, he totally rocked!


	16. Chapter 16

**2014, still**

"Why am I such a bad fiancé? I keep screwing up. New York only makes me stupid, or so it seems. I once again tried to change June's mind, but she kept talking about her reputation and everything.

She left, and since I was in glee club after all, I decided to express my emotions through song. I didn't expect Kurt to find me singing.

And I admitted I lied to him.

He was so angry, Lolo, holy sweet Jesus. He even threw the lunch bag. I tried to talk to him, but he's furious. After he left I basically ran to this place. I don't know why. You're still my comfort.

What do I do? I know I shouldn't have lied.

Since Sam and Mercedes are being awkward again, I might spend the night at Wes's. I wonder why he isn't sick of me yet."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kurt, honey, next time you see Blaine singing an over-emotional ballad while playing piano, run.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before writing this, I didn't appreciate that scene in 5x20 enough.

**2014, still**

"I don't deserve someone as loving and amazing as Kurt," Blaine says, but he's smiling, "He's too good for this world. After my awkward night with a disapproving Wes, I decided to wait outside his apartment. We needed to talk and oh boy, am I glad we did.

He told me that trust and love is like flying. Once upon a time there was a boy who wanted to fly. That boy is Kurt. He gave his heart to me, and he trusts me not to drop it like a stone. I never pegged Kurt as the poetic one. You would approve, Lolo, since you're the poet.

Turns out he was mad, but that he has forgiven me, because he trusts me.

\- And we will slip up and we will be scared, but I choose to trust and to love you through everything.

You have no idea how much that meant to me. I told him that I needed him to fly with me, but Kurt refused.

I decided not to argue, but at the showcase they demanded an encore and I gave it to them, but with Kurt. We don't need to rehearse songs, we know the routines by heart. We decided to do something silly, especially after everything that has happened. We needed something silly, so we did _American Boy_. And to my surprise, June gave in! Kurt and I were a hit! She then told me to never let anyone –not even her- cause me to doubt what I'm sure of. It all ended well!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah yes, a Struck By Lightning reference.
> 
> This story is coming to an end with 5 more chapters.


	18. Chapter 18

**2014, still**

"It is the end of an era," Blaine says solemnly, "Everyone is scattering. Mercedes, Santana and Brittany are going on tour. Sam is back to Lima now that he has reached his goal of being half-naked on a side of a bus, and Rachel's show got picked up for a pilot and she's going to LA.

Only Kurt, Artie, Wes and I.

And now that I moved back in with Kurt, we'll have the loft to ourselves.

This is going to be freaking amazing!

Sure, I'm sad this era ended, but I'm open for new things. I'm getting married. I'm living with Kurt in the city of my dreams. What can possibly go wrong?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh Blaine.


	19. Chapter 19

**2014, still**

"A lot, actually.

I know I haven't been here in a while, because everything has been crazy busy, but let me tell you that a lot can go wrong. Over the past couple of weeks, a lot has changed. In the beginning, everything went well. I was finally entering that second honeymoon period, or so I thought.

But lately, there's this tension between us. Us as in me and Kurt.

Yesterday we had a huge fight about nothing. But it was the third fight in two weeks. Wes keeps getting tired of me crashing at his place. Maybe I should try Artie's dorm after all.

What is happening to us?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If only I knew.


	20. Chapter 20

**2014, still**

"Good thing Kurt doesn't know about this place, cause the last thing I need is him finding me. I'm getting tired of how he's treating me. Why is he so snappy?

I know that I might be too affectionate, but is it bad to love him?"


	21. Chapter 21

**2014, still**

"Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck I was doing so well.

Shit.

Fuck.

We were doing so well. Or weren't we?

I live with Wes now. He tries to motivate me to do stuff for school, but I'm just not feeling the music. How do you react to your fiancé breaking up with you?

Logan, I haven't felt this bad in so long."


	22. Chapter 22

**2014, still**

"I messed everything up."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To be "continued" in You'd better live like gods, chapter 63.
> 
> Thank you for reading.


End file.
